You Can All Stop Holding Your Breath

So today is Day 20 and with Gabe medically stable, the emphasis is on brain rehabilitation. His pneumonia is gone and he had the last brain monitor removed from his head Thursday, Day 14. As of Friday, Day 15, he is off sedation. Gabe is not in a life-threatening state and his body will recover. He is still on a breathing tube but even so he is off the ventilator and breathing on his own for 2 – 5 hours as day.

On Friday, September 4th this tube will come out because it has to. Leaving it in much longer would badly hurt his vocal cords. So a tracheal tube will be placed in his windpipe. From there he can begin to wean off respiratory support. This “trach” will be more comfortable for him and leave his mouth feeling more normal. It will remain in place till he is entirely off ventilator assistance and he is swallowing and breathing normally and safely.

Also his feeding tube will be removed from his nose Friday and a PEG line (feeding tube through stomach) will be surgically set up. Soon Summer can blend up her runny tapioca for him, and he’ll get those banana/avocado milkshakes he and Kierie love! Aggh!

Gabe had a MRI this past Wednesday, Day 13, and one of his neurosurgeons gave us the results. His brain suffered a certain amount of diffuse axonal injury during the accident, and it is focused in his thalamus and brain stem. DAI is basically a stretching of the axons that relay messages inside the neurons. Many synapses are now too far apart to communicate properly. The brain stem sends the messages while the thalamus acts as air traffic control between brain stem and the thoughts taking place in the cerebrum. On top of this, his mind is fogged by fentanyl and oxycodone pain meds.

That being said we continued teaching, talking, reading and playing favorite music over the weekend. Our short-term goal is to get enough movement in his hand and his eyes, where he can begin eye-hand coordination. He has periods of arousal that can last an hour. He has furrowed his brows and raised his brows, he partially opens his eyes, tracks them a tiny bit to Kierie and me and Mike. After some coaching he shows us a thumb, squeezes Kierie’s hand, taps Kierie’s chest. I gave him my water bottle to manipulate –-his fingers are always searching—and he almost popped it he is so strong. We got him a Blue Moose Beanie Baby to squeeze when we are not there. WOW. We were grinning and laughing. Mike is by his side teaching him where his thumb is, and allowing Gabe to grip his hand, which Mike says is strong enough to hurt.

On Monday, Day 18, we had a two-hour meeting with two other neurosurgeons for second and third opinions. They had not seen Gabe for almost a week. Now as they got back on his case they told us this is a great deal of purposeful movement. They looked at all the data. Their message to us and to all of you is an MRI or CT scan will show the type of injury but not the extent, it will not tell the number of axons injured, nor the plasticity of Gabe’s particular brain in being able to form new pathways and reroute information around damaged areas. The variables of youth, strength, excellent health, and above average intelligence all work in his favor for optimal recovery.

We are not talking a “reset” Gabriel who is exactly like he was before. This will be a changed Gabe, a new Gabe and we welcome you all to help us program this new application. You have already been helping with the new Gabe, through your comments, phone calls and prayers, positive energy and love. Keep up the good work, it is our base of strength.

In the weeks to come we have decisions to make as to where Gabe will go after San Francisco General Hospital. Based on his current condition we are looking for a fantastic accredited acute care hospital to wean him off his trach that also has an emphasis on Traumatic Brain Rehabilitation. East coast, West coast destination unknown. Open to suggestions from those who have traveled this path.

Kierie will swing back to New York for a week of work meetings and more importantly pack up Gabe’s apartment. She will send out a call for help when she is ready. Summer has a few Maine fundraisers in the works and there are bound to be many cupcakes, bike rides and rallies involved! Possibly on Sunday, September 13 for all you Mainers! Then she’ll be headed back to San Francisco. Mike is headed home after the trach and PEG line operations and will return in a few weeks. And Donna, Mother Hen, will be here on the nest. Contact her at her e-mail address if you have information you need to give to her or get from her.

We’re off to see Gabe! Will post more in a few days.

Fondly,

Donna

2009.09.02 / 5 responses / Author: Donna

Wherever You Go, There You Are

Those are the words of an oft-repeated Allen Family cliché, as well as the title of a meditation book that Larry (my boyfriend) gave me before I got on the plane to go to San Francisco over a week ago. I have been finding that one of the only truly helpful coping mechanisms in such a crazy, stressful and worrisome time is the thought of living in the now. The injury of my brother took just a few seconds; his recovery will take months, possibly years. That is all too much to think about right now, so I say: bite off small pieces, chew them thoroughly, and make sure you swallow one mouthful before taking another bite. Haha. In other words, I am trying not to think of everything that could possibly happen in the future, since it doesn’t seem to do anything other than cause stress. Gabe will recover slowly, so we have to deal with it slowly. Ohm.

I have been trying to help my family and Kierie balance the time we spend with Gabe in the ICU. The space is very small, there is a lot of activity going on in there, and I am used to having a lot of my own alone time, so I decided a few days ago to not feel guilty if I am not there constantly. I also know that Gabe would not want me to have this all take over my entire life, especially since we’re going to be doing so much waiting. I have a plane ticket home for Thursday. It’s refundable if I am needed here, but otherwise I need to get back to Maine to deal with the other parts of my life, now that we know that Gabe’s recovery will be a long one. One of the nurses told me yesterday that at this point, Gabe needs her more than me. She meant that later, when he’s awake and needing more stimulus from familiar faces, I will be contributing more than now when he is still in a coma. I think we’re all operating under the auspices that he can hear us, even if it isn’t true and just makes us feel better, but I know that I need to go home soon so I can get my life in order for another trip out here in a few weeks.

I am lucky and have a wonderful boss who is very compassionate, and lucky that the University allows the usage of sick days (I have 36 days saved up) for family medical leave. I also have a fantastic boyfriend who has been helping me out with things back home and keeping me updated on all the fun and silly things that I am missing. I have to have some sense of normalcy. I would dearly love to be here when Gabe wakes up, but since that could take a while, I know that Gabe will understand why I have to make the bazillion-mile journey back home on Thursday. I also know that he will be bummed to miss Travis and Jordan’s wedding this Saturday in Belfast, as I have heard rumors that the reception will end with a beer pong tournament. 

Thanks again for all the wonderful loving thoughts and prayers that have been sent from all over the place. It’s times like these that I really think about how excellent people really are, and I go like this: xoxo. 

Here’s hoping that Gabe can hear the fake fart noises I make for him everyday, and that they somehow contain a mysterious healing element that no doctors have ever known before.

Bonne nuit.

2009.08.24 / 2 responses / Author: Summer

Three steps forward, two steps back

Whether kept in the caverns of our own minds or spoken aloud to one another, we constantly map the fluctuations in Gabe’s neurological and respiratory conditions. Donna hit the nail on the head when she wrote that there is a lot of activity happening in his body on the cellular level.

Without a doubt, I see changes. I see improvements. A hand squeeze. A return of color to his cheeks. A furrowed brow when the nurses help him cough. Waking up can vary from days to weeks, and rehabilitation is not instant.  There is no easy path here, but we’re in it for the long haul. We sit and we wait and we keep G company. A lot runs through one’s mind when you’re sitting next to a loved one, and inevitably a lot comes out of your mouth. Poor guy, he’s heard every lullaby my mom sang to me as a kid, and had to relive just about every memory we’ve had the last year and a half. There has been a flurry of invented stories and I read him a book from the book box a friend sent. My favorite thing to share with him is your comments. I started writing down the stories and inside jokes to recount to him during visiting hours. I think it makes a difference, like sensing someone who speaks to you as you lie sleeping and dreaming.

2009.08.24 / 1 response / Author: Kierie

first words from Mike the Dad

I see Gabe progressing each day..sometimes just a little. But I see him fighting this all the time. A strong man made this strong in part by all those that touch his life.So many people, so many good thoughts and prayers. I am so fortunate to have a son with so many true friends pulling for him. A big hug from big me to each and every one of you. I wish I had all your names so I could hold Gabe’s hand and tell him about every one of you. Lets hope for another good day tomorrow.
Mike Allen

2009.08.22 / 1 response / Author: Mike

That thing people call the power of positive thinking

Hello,

I’ve been wondering what should be the introductory post coming from me. Sometimes I think it may rest on finding a good moment, or simply providing a daily picture of what is happening with Gabe.

I’m going to kick it off with something that happened in New York last night. I received a call from a friend as she passed over the Williamsburg Bridge, en route to a party. She described in detail the DJs, bands, bake sale, raffle—all to benefit the man himself. It was a massive event organized by G’s cycling community. In the next few hours a dozen texts rolled in from people who were there, describing the atmosphere, sharing warm thoughts, and wishing us to come home soon. There were people who have known him for years and those who crossed his path just once. There were mini-cupcakes baked in his honor and a lot of lolz. I hear he was toasted to again and again. I hear it wasn’t the same without him there.

Sitting at his bedside, I described to him the outpouring of love bumping out of New York. I moved on to name the friends and family beyond the City’s borders, reaching out from upstate NY, Maine, Kansas, Kentucky, Mass., Colorado, Iowa, folks up and down the California coast. He has friends in Russia, Brazil, and Berlin who are pulling for him too. The immensity of hopes and good intention buoy us all, and it’s crossing ocean, sand, and heck of a lot of corn to drop down into the hospital ICU. With this much positivity banging around, there’s no way he can’t feel it!

p.s. Thanks to all the great posts in the Get Better section! I’m writing a lot of these down and reading them to him.

p.p.s. The party was announced in Free Williamsburg and on the Kissena track blog. Also was featured on the Prolly not Probably blog.

2009.08.22 / no responses / Author: Kierie

Thanks from Gabe’s mom

Gabe is in his San Francisco hospital bed going on the ride of his life. Brain trauma and brain swelling have placed him in a world of the most complex of hospital care. His other bodily injuries are minor and the  fight to return to good function is conducted at the cellular level.  Summer, Kierie, Mike and I watch this with an eerie sense that we are in some sort of alternative universe.  At the same time we are full of excitement and hope because the goal here for every patient is full recovery no matter how long it takes.  We talk to him and stroke him, and let him know what you are all doing and saying. The support of Gabe’s, Summer’s and Kierie’s friends in Maine, New York and San Francisco is  free flowing and creative.  Thank you for this website, the 7 days at Jessies, the loan of a car, the flowers, the cookies, the massage, the box of books to read to Gabe, the fundraisers, the best wishes and other kindnesses.   Please  know in your hearts that Gabe and all of us out here feel your love.

2009.08.20 / no responses / Author: Donna

Quick Update at the One-Week Mark

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all the wonderful support so far for Gabe. I am uncertain where to start. Gabe has been in the ICU at SF General Hospital since the accident last Thursday. He has fantastic nurses and doctors; SF General is known as a premiere trauma center for the area so he is getting astounding care.

The most concerning of his injuries is the one(s) to his brain. He had some swelling that has been decreasing, though fluctuating, which is pretty usual in these type of injuries. The fact that he remains stable is a good thing. The doctors currently think that by early next week he should be able to be taken off of anaesthesia and then he will begin the process of waking up from his coma, which can take days or weeks.

Forgive me if I am not including answers to your questions, but after spending many days in the ICU I am trying to boil everything down into what is truly important to know now. Gabe has been making some small movements, which is good, and we are all excited to eventually see him open his eyes, whenever he is ready to do so.

Gabe’s friends and family from all over have been showing amazing support, and there is a great crew of people for those of us unexpectedly uprooted from our homes in Maine and New York to spend time in San Francisco. We are very glad to have friendly support to reach out to in this crazy time. More info will be forthcoming; please continue to think of Gabe and send along happy healing thoughts and prayers of any kind.

xoxo

2009.08.20 / no responses / Author: Summer

BurritoStock09: Benefit party

If you’re in the NYC area, we’re throwing a benefit party tomorrow night (Friday the 21st).

Wreck Room bar
7pm onward

We’ll have bands, DJs, a raffle, and discounted beer to give you an awesome time.

We’ll also be collecting items for a care package to send over to SF if you’d like to bring something.

BurritoStock Flyer

To get there by subway: Take the L to Morgan Ave. Exit near Bogart St. Walk South on Bogart (or Morgan if you find yourself there instead) until you reach Flushing and turn right. It’ll be on the South side of the street.

2009.08.20 / 5 responses / Author: Amanda

A Sad Day

Gabriel Allen was in a collision with a car in San Francisco at Duboce and Divisadero.

He is in ICU at SF General, the #1 trauma hospital in the Bay Area.

All updates will be posted here.

2009.08.20 / no responses / Author: Justin